NewsQueryFU (NQFU)

The Things That Pass for Meltdowns These Days! A Minneapolis performance by Ryan Adams ended abruptly last night after the crazy singer complained about the sound mix onstage, then walked offstage after playing for only 70 minutes. Remember when he punched a guy for requesting “Summer of ‘69?” [AP]

Netflix Adds Mind-Reading Function: Netflix has updated its search engine to include auto-complete suggestions, meaning you don’t need to know how to spell a movie’s title to add it to your queue. This is great news for us as we’ve been trying to rent Sen To Chihiro No Kamikakushi for the past three years. [Hacking Netflix]

Robert Plant Finally Talks Some Sense Into Robert Plant: Ending weeks of speculation, Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant has announced that the band will not tour following their reunion show in November, since even he thinks that would be a terrible idea. [Uncut via MTV]

Kanye West: Jerk! Kanye West has been phoning critics who gave Graduation a bad review. And all we ever get are angry text messages from Jack White. [Intel]

SpongeBob Thinks You’re Fat: Nickelodeon will broadcast three hours of dead air on Saturday in a bid to get children to go outside and play. Or drink bleach and burn their faces on a stove. Whichever. [AP]

Superstar Jennifer Lopez says she understands the intense media pressure Britney Spears in going through.

The singer told Access Hollywood that she finds media scrutiny “very very difficult.”

“If I am going to the gym, I’ll make sure they don’t get a picture.”

“If they’re gonna hang out outside my house all day, they’re not gonna make any money. They’re gonna have to go down the road to somebody else’s house,” she said.

Lopez is still haunted by the paparazzi frenzy that surrounded her relationship with movie star Ben Affleck.

Now in her three-year marriage to singer Marc Anthony, the star says her husband has helped her learn how to put a stop to “feeding” the media.

“Actually, he helped me with how to do that and you don’t entertain it,” Lopez said.

“You don’t play that game. You don’t feed the beast,” Marc Anthony told Access Hollywood.

Anthony said the intense media pressure that Britney is facing “feels disgusting.”

“You feel like a prey. You feel like a slab of meat.”

The singer went on to say the photographers have an elaborate network of spies.

“This whole network of walkie-talkies and blocking streets. Unbelievable!” he said.

The happily married couple will be embarking on their upcoming En Concierto tour, starting in Atlantic City on Saturday.

Cameron Diaz has dipped back into the musician well to find herself a new guy — John Mayer! The 34-year-old Shrek actress, whose almost 4-year relationship with Justin Timberlake ended in January, and rocker Mayer were spotted out in New York last night, a source exclusively tells Usmagazine.com. “They went out to several places…It was the two of them, getting to know each other, out on the town.”

According to a source, Diaz, who is in New York filming the comedy What Happens in Vegas, and Mayer have known each other for awhile. “This was technically not their first time hanging out…they’ve hung out together with friends before. But this was the first time together like this. It’s new and developing…but they really like each other and it went well,” a source explained.

A rep for John Mayer would not confirm the new couple, telling Us, “We do not comment on our client’s personal lives.” Diaz’s rep also had no comment.

Earlier today, Mandy Moore debunked a rumor that she was seeing Mayer, 29. She chalked it up to friendship, but in light of these new developments, maybe she feared the wrath of Cam!

Jessica Simpson’s new color is green.

A source close to the singer tells Us Simpson is “really jealous” that ex John Mayer is seeing Cameron Diaz. “She had her mouth open a mile wide when she found out,” says the source. “She just freaked.”

Simpson, 27, parted ways with Mayer, 29, in May after dating him on and off for seven months, and “she thinks about him all the time,” says the source. “She is so not over him.”

Meanwhile, Simpson seems to be a distant memory for Mayer, who has continued his summer romance with Diaz, 35, in NYC. Though they spent August 22 and 23 apart (he hit the gym and recorded at a studio; she shopped and then lunched at Mary’s Fish Camp), they finally squeezed in quality time in the wee hours of August 24 at hot spot Socialista. The pair — who left at 4 a.m. through different exits — “were very cozy,” says a witness.

Echoes a source close to the new couple, “They’re happy.”

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline’s custody battle was back in court again Monday afternoon.

Federline’s attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan, and Spears’ attorney Sorrell Trope, met behind closed doors in an L.A. court to “refine certain areas” of the judge’s order last week that requires Spears to submit to random, twice-weekly drug and alcohol testing and to undergo parenting classes, the Associated Press reports.

Trope confirms to Usmagazine.com that judge Scott Gordon has signed the order putting the new custody-related restrictions in place. Trope did not say when the testing would go into effect.

Today’s hearing comes on the heels of Friday’s filing of misdemeanor hit-and-run charges against Spears by the L.A. city attorney.

Kaplan told the AP that he does not expect the filing of the misdemeanor charges last week to impact the scheduled November 26 hearing on Federline’s request to increase his custody time with the former couple’s two young sons. They currently split fifty-fifty custody of sons Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1.

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony kicked off their concert tour, Lopez’s first, at a Bronx, New York, public school Tuesday. “Jenny from the block” received a warm welcome in her hometown, with schoolchildren holding homemade signs, handing out paper flowers, and shouting “we love you!” to Lopez and her hubby.

Feeding the recent pregnancy rumors, Lopez wore a grey sleeveless baggy dress and teared up as a choir of children sang I Have the Power to Be. Afterwards, she joked with the students, “What did you do to me? Look at my make-up!” She then said on Anthony’s behalf, “We’re really overwhelmed. We look at you and see ourselves in you and dream of great things for you. I remember when I was just like you, and it touches my heart.”

Anthony, who wiped tears from his eyes as well, told the students that their principal, Ms. Rivera, was his teacher. “I’ve known Ms. Rivera for a long time. She was a huge part of my youth, and to the teachers in the audience, I hope you realize the importance you play in these kids’ lives. I will never forget her.”

After the assembly, Lopez and Anthony sat down with Us to talk about coming home to the Bronx, and touring.

Us: How do you feel being back in your home, the Bronx?

Lopez: We walked through the school and to feel all this love and this warm reception is amazing. This is my core, and everything I’ve been able to accomplish, through all the highs and lows, I got through it because of where I came from. And to come back here and feel all the love is so overwhelming and emotional and beautiful and I really feel blessed.

Anthony: I’m from Manhattan but the majority of my family is from the Bronx. I’m extremely touched and overwhelmed. The kids’ artwork is amazing. There’s nothing in the world, forget a Grammy or award, that I’ve ever felt that is more warm than I feel today.

Us: Tell us about your tour.

Lopez: This is my first tour. I’m excited because it’s my sixth album. I’m going to do all my English songs, and some Spanish.

Anthony: Jennifer was able to do for me on the movie front with El Cantante. She helped me, because she had a lot more experience than me and now it’s my turn.

Us: How is the show set up? Who goes on first?

Lopez: We don’t know yet! We’ll switch off. Both of us will be doing the show together, though. It will be in Spanish and English.