NewsQueryFU (NQFU)

One of the BBC’s best known presenters and newsreaders, Natasha Kaplinsky, is leaving. She’s off to Channel Five and will be hosting their main evening news at 5.30 p.m. and 7 p.m.

Natasha Kaplinsky said, “After five incredibly rewarding years at the BBC, I found the chance to work with the team at Five too exciting to pass up.”

Over the years she has attracted some criticism, mostly unfounded, and has been excellent on shows such as Strictly Come Dancing and Children In Need. She has a natural relaxed manner but her good looks seem to upset so called serious news people. She’s a bright woman though and gained an English degree at Oxford.

The Five News editor got it right when he said, “She is a great communicator and has a really distinctive style that sets her apart.”

I’m sure Five News will get value for their money.

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Lately Katie Holmes has been looking like a sad 40-year-old woman, so it’s nice to see her looking not only decent but kind of hot. Sure, crazy old Tom probably has her all drugged up so she obeys his every command. And maybe, because of that and a loveless sham marriage, Katie Holmes is dead inside. But at least she’s looking good which is all that really matters, right? I know, ladies, you’re overcome by my sensitivity. What can I say? I’ve got a heart that’s almost as big as these biceps. Go ahead, touch them. They won’t bite. Much.

Scope out English model/actress Gemma Atkinson in her crazy hot 2008 calendar. I don’t really have any idea who she is, but Gemma has dreams of being an R&B/soul singer and will soon be moving stateside to Nashville. Also, just thought I’d mention she’s recently single. News of the World reports:

Our Gem’s now single after splitting with Man United star Ronaldo in July.
A close pal revealed: “Gemma’s started dating again and is loving it. She’s met up with a number of guys so far and had a great time.”

Note to Self: Move to Nashville. Seek out Gemma Atkinson. (If you’re unable to spot her, go home and cry in the bathtub while questioning your sexuality.) Introduce yourself as a record producer. (A cowboy hat will add authenticity to this claim and make you look like Chuck Norris. Pure win/win situation.) Gain Gemma’s confidence. (Buy her a coffee maker. Or an oven mitt. Whatever the chicks are into these days.) Touch boobies. (If unsuccessful, I hear suicide is fun too.) End note.

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are taking their relationship public after months of rumors. After promoting their new film “Rendition,” Jake and Reese took off to Rome for a romantic getaway. The two were spotted holding hands and “canoodling” with each other. The Daily Mail reports:

Witherspoon, 31, whose divorce from former husband Ryan Phillippe was finalised this month, had previously denied a romance with the Brokeback Mountain star.
The pair first began dating around March this year, although they were careful to avoid being photographed together. However, Reese, who has two children Ava, 8, and Deacon, 3, called the romance off in June, according to reports.
Now it’s clear their love affair is most definitely back on.

I don’t want to say this is the least interesting post I’ve ever written, but I’m currently in a coma. I’m dictating my thoughts by blinking in Morse code to a chimp with a typewriter. Dash. Dash. What the hell is canoodling? Dash. Dot. At least Jake’s not dating Kirsten Dunst. Dot. Dot. Dash. She’s a freaking vampire. Dash. Although Reese Witherspoon’s chin could cleave a watermelon. Dot. Dot. Dot. Make this funny. Dash. Dash. Dot. Talk about bananas and I’ll sell you to NASA. Dot. Dot. No, wait, don’t type that. Dot. These people will go all Ellen DeGeneres on me. Dash. Dash. Dash. Are you typing all this? Dot. Dot. Dammit.

After watching the trailer for Paris Hilton’s new film, one thing is blatantly obvious. This shiz is an instant camp classic!

It’s sooooo bad. But in a really good way.

REPO! The Genetic Opera is like Phantom on crack - and it even stars Sarah Brightman.

They must have paid her in cookies and coke!

In addition to Paris and the original Christine, the film also stars Paul Sorvino, Billy Moseley, Alexa Vega and Anthony Head.

It is soooo wonderfully bad. We’ve watched the trailer like five times already. We love it!

Click here to check it out.

Carrie Underwood’s sophomore CD was released on Tuesday of this week.

Based on first day sales and projections, she is headed for a #1 debut and could sell up to 450,000 in week one, PerezHilton.com has learned.

Wow! Talk about hitting a home run!

By comparison, Kelly Clarkson’s latest CD, My December, sold 291,000 copies in its first week and then took a nosedive.

Underwood’s radio-friendly disk is expected to “have legs,” as they say in the music industry for albums with longevity.

Congrats!

[Image via WENN.]

What star has this amazing rack?

CLICK HERE to find out!

They really are absolutely perfect.

[Image via WENN.]

Making perfect even more perfect!

Pregnancy has definitely enhanced Halle Berry’s package. The mom-to-be showed off her girls at the London premiere on Wednesday night of her new film, Things We Lost In The Fire.

Though she hasn’t announced her pregnancy publicly, Christina Aguilera is celebrating her happy news privately.

The Dirrty mommy-to-be had a baby shower with friends and family in Los Angeles on October 20th.

She’s also reportedly already picked out a name for her child.

An insider tells In Touch Weekly that Christina wants to name the baby after her husband, music biz exec Jordan Bratman. “She rubs her baby bump and talks to the baby, calling it Jordy,” says the insider.

J. Lo’s probably having her shower this weekend!

[Image via WENN.]

We’re honestly amazed that Tom & Katie have lasted this long! Aren’t U?

As time goes on, they seem to be getting a tad more normal. And by “normal” we mean we don’t think their relationship is a total sham. Just mostly!

Tom seems to be a lot more comfortable in his skin these days. He showed up to the premiere of Lions for Lambs in Berlin on Wednesday wearing sensible flats. Katie wore heels.

The new and improved TomKat!

We say they’re divorced by year’s end!

[Image via WENN.]

Not only is Natalie Portman trying to help the poor people of this world, but she’s also trying to help the animals.

The classy actress has filmed a new documentary for Animal Planet with Tonight Show regular Jack Hannah.

Saving a Species: Gorillas on the Brink premiere later this week.

“Actress Natalie Portman journeys deep into Rwanda’s rainforest in search of the rare mountain gorilla. World renowned animal expert Jack Hanna guides Natalie’s on her trek to learn more about this amazing endangered species.”

Celebrities doing good. It makes us happy!

[Image via WENN.]